Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
