dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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