Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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