I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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