don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
