The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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