Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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