I'm going to jail i love you
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
