Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
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