but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
