This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize