theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
