if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
My hand turned me down
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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