theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
