Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him