Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?