I will die if light touches me.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
