Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
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Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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