you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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