I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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