I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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