that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
