We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Ketchup is God's man juice
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize