im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
