Fuck appropriateness.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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