Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Randomize
