I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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