also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
