But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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