Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
