Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
