come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
