I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize