i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
