i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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