yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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