she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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