She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize