im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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