Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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