i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
