at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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