I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
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I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
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I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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