I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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