It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
