So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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