So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
