it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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