you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
A bitchslap is in order.
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