We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize