You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Randomize
