I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
