glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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