is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
