I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
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