i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize
