CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
so let's talk penis.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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