So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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