maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
