I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
