Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I am one with the molecules
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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