Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
