he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
