So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I see more hoeing in ur future
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize