I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
