I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
