Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
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